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MEETING PEOPLE

Is it just me or meeting people is really hard nowadays? It might be just me. I have a lot of handicaps for such an enterprise. I don’t drink alcohol nor coffee. I don’t eat cheese, greasy food, cream nor too sweet desserts. I get brain freeze with ice cream. I am prone to headaches. I don’t smoke. I have no interest whatsoever for sports or any sort of competition. I find gyms too loud and crowded. I like to dance but I’m more frightening than Elaine from Seinfeld. I find myself shaking after five minutes in the sea or in the swimming pool and become a shrimp under the sun. In short, due to physical limitations, I don’t feel comfortable in activities most people love.

Besides myself, what else makes it hard meeting people? There were balls and fairs on weekends decades ago. Not anymore. Some people go to church on Sundays, or other places of cult on Fridays or Saturdays, but I will never go to religious places. My job experiences did not make possible enough social contact among co-workers and work parties were poisonous. As to social media, they are not social at all. Likes and comments among people who will never meet. A total waste of time, blogging included.

I’ve been looking for activities and groups where I might feel comfortable. I once tried amateur theater, but I soon got bored and memorizing lines is not my thing. I recently joined a writing group and I’m loving it, looking forward to meet them in person instead of Zoom. It’s the only artistic and creative community not focused on measuring dicks I ever met. I hope to find more in time, and meet kind people in the flesh.

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BLOGGING PROPERLY

I wish I knew how to blog properly. I am talking about making money with it, obviously. As far as I can tell, there are two major kinds of blogs: the How To blogs and the Look At Me blogs. Both can promote services. Internet gurus say money is on the first kind of blogs, unless you’re some kind of celebrity or influencer.

When I say blogging it includes any kind of social media posting, like Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest and what not. It is very difficult to me to achieve any sort of success in this virtual universe because I don’t like it enough. If the door to affordably promote my services and my art was another, I would probably eliminate all my Internet profiles and stay away from the computer.

Most of How To blogs are very specific or rather redundant and deceiving. Pretending to be an expert is highly recommended in the blogging sphere. The Internet becomes a giant sales channel. That’s the main purpose of it as a business. The Look At Me blogs of influencers are the new generation of commercials.

People like me, who strive to make a living with their art and have creative projects of plain and simple aesthetic value, try hard to survive in the dog world of commerce. I avoided it for twenty years, having a daytime job that ruined my mental health. Now I’m trying to learn how to play the game without getting my soul dirty. I hope my mind doesn’t collapse.

My blog and site is growing, but it’s not exactly a success. I wonder if I’m not just wasting time and energy with this and social media. I might give up of posting daily. I really don’t know.

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Ad Experiment

Image may contain: text that says "Não consegue vender ou comprar casa? Fale comigo. 919163460 nneves@htailors.com NUNO NEVES CONSULTOR DE NEGÓCIOS HOME TAILORS REAL ESTATE"

I decided to use my wallpapers on ads for my services as a real estate business consultant. In case they prove to be appealing I will conceive wallpapers specifically for that purpose, as it happened with some of the illustrations for the items on my Etsy shop.

One important issue is the fun I’m having with this. There is joy in the process and that is new to me. The freedom to use my aesthetic creativity to generate income gives me a sense of purpose and achievement. This is quite challenging for someone raised to hate money.

Self-employment or business owning is radically different from being an employee with a regular salary. One has to be proactive and in a state of alert for business opportunities to get food on the table and a roof to live under. Instability becomes the daily routine. I am hoping to get used to it and have fun in the process of watching my abilities being useful, both as a service and as generators of wealth.

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The Toxicity Of The Search For Success

I’ve been killing my imagination for quite a long time. My concern on money and approval is the poison I use. It is quite effective. Money takes your brain to invest energies on tasks that have nothing to do with your creative work, such as keeping or looking for a job. Approval forces you to tailor your work to an audience.

This blog, the Etsy shop, my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn profiles exist for the money. Boredom and my own rejection of the work in progress happens when I fear the judgement of my two imaginary audiences. These are the commercial audience and the artistic audience.

The only way to fresh air is having no concerns at all. Pleasure must be the only guide. I should not allow the need for money and the longing for attention to jeopardize it, has I’ve been doing all my life. In order to get my heartful work done and feed the souls of others I must be smarter than that.