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I Need To Kill My Self-Censorship

Strangely enough, it is for the purpose of making money. To increase the number of visitors to my Etsy shop this blog must become entertaining. I am not tailed for businesses. The shop is a financial necessity, as it is with most of the jobs. This blog is part of a strategy to increase traffic to the shop and eventually get more sales. Unfortunately, self-promoting and brand promoting are not my thing. I’ve been trying real hard and I keep loathing it. I was educated to see bragging as a bad thing and proselytism gives me the creeps. Lobbying is disgusting and building communities and supposed friends just to quack about my products, my work and my personality is sick.

As for my drawings and music, I want to make good writing, both on style, or aesthetics, and content. In the commercial context of this blog, writing must be extremely fast in order to post on a daily bases. Here is the thing. I can only do that if I stop thinking about the adequacy of content. As long as my private life is safe, I should write whatever comes to my head, with the aim of providing quality and efficient entertainment. Readers would visit this blog to give some snacks for their souls.

I hope you like the menu.

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Talented I Envy #3 – John Le Carré

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I Wish I Were Faster

I am not focused nor confidant enough to achieve a fast pace of drawing. Over the years I forced myself to postpone drawing and give priority to daily tasks up to the point of feeling guilty each time I grabbed a pencil. This extends to all other pleasures I have. Writing and making music bring to me the same sinful malediction.

My focused was to become financial independent at all costs. I set up for a steady job to pay the mortgage for an apartment and here I am, slave of my household, or I should say the bank, horrified with the prospect of losing my regular civil servant income.

Two decades of restraint pass by until I became nuts. After the focus on pleasure, I lost it on work and on life itself. Time passes and instead of living I became a witness, having no attachment to reality at all. The loss of pleasure evolved to a loss of reference. If you don’t nurture the things you’re fond of, the labyrinth of indecision kicks in. No cardinal points, no capacity of choice, and you fall into the abyss of generalized anxiety.

To create faster I must let myself create more, loose from the chains of guilt. In both this blog and the shop I try to give legitimacy to my drawing through the effort of making it both a business and a service. I now provide objects some people might long for in exchange for their money. Someday I’ll work fast end efficient enough to pay my mortgage.

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Genres

How I hate them! A preposterous method to allegedly help readers to allocate themselves and their choices, genres are lethal to creativity and quality. Sectioning the fictional spectrum to accommodate thinking into restricted bookshelves soon becomes an amputation to reasoning and thinking. A mob of short-eyed readers, writers, critics and editors rises to present art as a money-making commodity to satisfy basic whims. To put it bluntly, genres are categories to chapbooks.

The horrible term literary fiction is coined to label artistry, which soon is related to presumption, arrogance and excruciating boredom. The trouble is that not being far from the truth. Several works of this genre are egocentric verbiage for the delight of pseudo-intellectuals and vain minds. In movie posters one could find the label quality as if to assure us we were witnessing a work of fine art.

It is all labeling! But that also takes us to the fashion of declaring certain fiction unlabelable, a term to easily be used as a label itself.

To my not so humble view, genres should only be used for their original purpose, the identification of content. What are you reading about? Knights, princesses, detectives, intergalactic smugglers, a family or the thoughts of an individual in daily life and much, much more! This identification should only occur for conversational purposes, never to name bookshelves nor for the purpose of catalog.

To pack books on a shelf, simply name each author and place them in alphabetical order.

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I Love This!

Writing, drawing and coloring a story! Conceiving a visual world and describe people’s lives in it! Witness the joy of readers!

Darn! Will I achieve that?

I’m coloring the first page. The pace has been excruciating slow but I intend to change that. I decided to buy a domain and monetize this blog. (My apologies for the eventual proliferation of adds!) That way I might stop seeing my creative work as something that steals the time to make a living, as something irresponsible. Making graphic novels will become my work (I wish!).

Making money online is a completely new activity to me. I started with the Etsy shop few months ago and the result was investing all my time in creating new products, about eleven hundred by now, the graphic novel successively postponed. I must learn monetization. It seems to be the only way for drawing in peace.

Telling stories with drawings and colors! I love this!